I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
