Well douche your snatch and let's go!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
