You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
