i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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