A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
