i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize