I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
