this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
