I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
