Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
