Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize