so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
