she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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