you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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