She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
