Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
