i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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