Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
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