Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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