I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
