Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
