That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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