She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize