my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize