Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
