He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
