I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
