It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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