I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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