Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
