I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
