is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
