Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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