glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
