I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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