when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize