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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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