I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
please come you make the beer taste better
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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