he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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