Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
