my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
