i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
i would punch a child for taco bell
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize