Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
