Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
