Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
