..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
