some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Ketchup is God's man juice
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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