I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
