ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You pole danced in your parka.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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