I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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