Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
