How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
