More tranny stories later!
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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