Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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