You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
