waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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