he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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