My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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