The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
